The hell you say?

[dorminWS]

You may have seen this before, but it always amuses me.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona
chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared
it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now
have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.


One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering
Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world
today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as
they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

[SHMIV]

We're missing the second possibility, which I remember to be funny, but can't remember what it is...

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[AlanM]

From Snopes.com:

The last lines are:

So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.

Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over."

It was not revealed what grade the student got.

[dorminWS]

DANG! I'M SORRY! I left off the end of it and didn't even realize it.

Here's the end of the story, and I like it better than AlanM's Snopes version:
..................................................................................

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,'
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then
number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic
and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that
since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any
more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven,
thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why,
last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+

[SHMIV]

Ahhh, yes. I thought that I remembered a sexual reference in that story.

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[WVUBeta1904]

Haha, clever. Good post..

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