CHESTERFIELD SUCKS!

[Reverenddel]

So I have squirrels. Big...Fat... Condescending...squirrels

That mock me, and the place I stay. So I start to research discharging an air rifle in Chesterfield, Nein. Cannot do that. So I start to research archery, Nada. Cannot do that. Slingshot? Strike that band my friend! Nope!

So I have squirrels. Big...Fat... PROTECTED...squirrels. Borrowing the kids football, overpumping it so that it's ROCK hard, and chunking them may be the way to go.

I'm already practicing with the blow gun, but I'm not as accurate as I was when I was 14, and had nothing better to do but practice. Thought about knife throwing, but that would damage the house.

The county extension office said "You could put down Have-a-heart traps, and then release them in the park."

Um... Why would I release FOOD into the PARK!? Squirrel is good eatin'. And these Big...Fat...Mocking...Squirrels is looking tasty. I could catch them, but then the kids would name them, and the squirrels would become their "friends", and this wouldn't be good to stew up "Fred the Squirrel".

Dunno, anybody got alternative methods to dispatch tree rat without raising the Carpetbaggers ire in the neighborhood?

[OakRidgeStars]

Squirrel hater.

[Reverenddel]

When they take lil' Squirrel poops on the porch because it's high enough the cats won't get them? When they put lil' squirrel hand prints, and I swear BUTT prints on the windshield of my car? When they have started to chew the plastic trash cans just because?

Hell yeah I'm a squirrel hater! The only way I love them? In traditional brunswick stew!

[OakRidgeStars]

...and I swear BUTT prints on the windshield of my car?

Pictures or it never happened

[kelu]

mmm.. dart arrows? Put a big dart target in backyard where they usually go, and then occasionally miss the target... it will be an "accident"

[SpanishInquisition]

Dart board? Pah, Go big, baby! I can see the headline now: "Squirrels killed in freak series of lawn dart accidents"

[GeneFrenkle]

No airguns in Chesterfield? Even Fairfax allows air guns (as of last year or so).

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[Reverenddel]

Nope! Cannot discharge it in the neighborhood.

I have thought about building an airgun suppressor, but I'm sure someone would call on that. What I need is a gun that doesn't look like a "gun".

[allingeneral]

Blind them with a high-power laser, then sneak up on them with a net, then bash their skulls in with a hammer! (I kid, but only a little bit!)

[Snakester]

I know exactly what you are talking about ! Squirrels destroy everything...and will eat anything from "Squirrel Proof " bird feeders...Trash Cans and are constantly digging up the yard...Bulbs in flower pots and my favorite is taking just 1 bite out of every tomato and pepper in the garden.
Solutions : #1...Even though I live in town , The Stoeger X10 .177 cal. w/Scope is deadly and Quiet !
#2...Also works great is a "RAT TRAP" baited w/Peanut Butter.
#3...Youth Model Compound Bow w/Rubber Tip "FLU-FLU Arrow. Also deadly and Quiet ! I bought this in case
I get caught , They can't confiscate my Browning Bow.

I tried feeding the squirrels , trying to get them to leave the bird feeders alone. Didn't work , just ended up with more Squirrels.
I have come to the conclusion...Squirrels are like "Left Wing Politicians " One dies off and Two takes his place !

[dorminWS]

An acquaintance of mine who shall remain nameless once had a similar problem with an overabundance of stray cats. He resorted to the "humane" trap. But before releasing them, he tried to improve their hygiene by finding a deep hole in a remote creek and giving them a bath. To keep from getting scratched or bitten, he just tossed the trap into the creek. He never did work all the bugs out of his system, though. They kept accidentally drowning. He told each and every one of them, he said, to hold their breath until they were clean, but they just wouldn't listen. He ran out of cats before he isolated an effective pedagogical method.

[Snakester]

Well , I guess that was better than burying them up to their neck and running a Lawn Mower over them !

[arkypete]

I've always found it easier to gain forgiveness rather then permission.
You may wish to try using one of those rat traps that sticks the feet with some sort of adhesive.

Jim

[Chasbo00]

Three words: Jack Russell Terrier

[dorminWS]

I've always found it easier to gain forgiveness rather then permission.
You may wish to try using one of those rat traps that sticks the feet with some sort of adhesive.

Jim

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I'd be very careful about "stickyboards" ("those rat traps that sticks the feet with some sort of adhesive" - I'm not kiddin' - that's what every exterminator I've ever dealt with calls them). Also about sprig traps - even just the mouse/rat traps your granny used to use. You can never tell when somebody's beloved pet or even their 3-year-old kid will get into them. Seems to me that could give rise to serious potential for legal and perhaps even criminal liability.

[ShotgunBlast]

Nope! Cannot discharge it in the neighborhood.

I have thought about building an airgun suppressor, but I'm sure someone would call on that. What I need is a gun that doesn't look like a "gun".

I shoot my BB gun in my Chesterfield neighborhood back yard with no problems. State law invalidates any local ordinances against pneumatic guns. Having the target being squirrels on the other hand....

http://lis.virginia.gov/cgi-bin/legp604 ... +sum+SB757

Pneumatic gun regulations. Prohibits a locality from adopting an ordinance that prohibits the shooting of pneumatic guns on private property, with permission of the owner of the property, if reasonable care is taken to prevent a projectile from crossing the bounds of the property. The bill also invalidates any existing local ordinances that conflict with the provisions of the act.

[dorminWS]

Three words: Jack Russell Terrier

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

True. A good squirrel dog would motivate the little rodents to find a new loafing place. Somebody that posts here (or used to) was actually breeding the legendary Mountain Feist; which, when I was a boy, was universally held to be the ultimate squirrel dog in these here mountains.

[TacticalMom]

Maybe the spike strips that they use for the sky rats/pigeons.

Place them along fence, and porch, and tree, and... ahh its already getting to be to much work thinking about it.

Oh I know you could get the squirrel's natural enemy. "Squirrels have very few natural enemies. Hawks and Owls have been able to catch and kill some. While tree snakes have been able to take young squirrels from their nest, but rarely can catch an adult squirrel when it is in a tree. The Bobcat and Fox will try to out run a squirrel on the ground, but again once the squirrel is in a tree the chase is over and it squirrel survives.

The squirrels biggest enemy is Man. Since a squirrel is considered a game animal, it can be killed for its pelt and meat. Also, automobiles kill tens of thousands of squirrels each year"

You can transport some Hawks and or Owls in, maybe some arborial snakes, then you have to find something that will take out the snakes and birds, then I am remember kids song here... something about things eating thing eating things.

I am just joshing yah Rev, cause I know you can take it.

But I do wish you luck in your squirrel hunting.

P.S. Just thought about a sling shot? What about one of those? That should be legal I would hope.

[jjord014]

+1 on the Jack Russels.

Mine bug the hell out of them until they leave.

[GeneFrenkle]

Use harsh language? If you offend them enough, they might leave.

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