A Place To Tell Jokes

Post by **Palladin** » Mon, 06 Jun 2011 20:42:04

Wife walks in the kitchen to find her husband gazing intently around the room, flyswatter in hand.
"Whatcha doin, Hon?"

"Killing flies." He replied.

"Having any luck?"

"Yeah, I've gotten three males and two females so far."

"Now how on earth could you tell that?!", she exclaimed.

The three males were on the beer bottle there, and the two females were on the telephone..."

Post by **Taggure** » Fri, 10 Jun 2011 12:04:54

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said:

Two Prostitutes - $50.00.

A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail.

Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: 'JESUS SAVES.'

One of the girls asked the officer, 'How come you don't stop them?!'

'Well, that's a little different,' the officer smiled, 'Their sign pertains to religion.'

The following day the same police officer noticed the same two hookers driving around with a large sign on their car.

He figured he had an easy arrest until he read their new sign:

Two Fallen Angels
Seeking Peter --$50

Post by **OakRidgeStars** » Fri, 10 Jun 2011 13:36:53

Chasbo00 · Post by **Chasbo00** » Fri, 10 Jun 2011 16:16:07

Doctor Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal were overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said, "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go, Dave.” But, invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:
Dave...You are a veterinarian, you sick bastard.

Post by **OakRidgeStars** » Fri, 10 Jun 2011 19:02:06

Must be one of those dirty sheep shaggers

BillyBlackhawk · Post by **BillyBlackhawk** » Mon, 13 Jun 2011 10:22:49

Just read the joke posted by Vahunter back in April of 09. Why has this racist crap not been deleted by a moderator? Why did I see no protests from other members? Don't the Obamas have enough to poke fun at without taking the low road of racism? Stooping to this type of "humor" speaks of a complete lack of imagination.

Post by **allingeneral** » Mon, 13 Jun 2011 18:00:35

I guess if you go around looking for something to be offended about, you'll probably find it. I could do the same thing if I wanted to, but I don't bother.

Post by **zephyp** » Tue, 14 Jun 2011 07:36:15

BillyBlackhawk wrote:Just read the joke posted by Vahunter back in April of 09. Why has this racist crap not been deleted by a moderator? Why did I see no protests from other members? Don't the Obamas have enough to poke fun at without taking the low road of racism? Stooping to this type of "humor" speaks of a complete lack of imagination.

This one "Playboy offered Sarah Palin 1 million dollars to pose nude for their centerfold. Now National Geographic has offered the same $$$ to Michelle Obama." ????

If so, can you please explain the racism angle so other board members know what to avoid in the future?

wylde007 · Post by **wylde007** » Tue, 14 Jun 2011 08:48:13

I think it's pretty obvious and now your name will be placed alongside mine in Tweaker's list of outed WAAAAAAACists.

VBshooter · Post by **VBshooter** » Tue, 14 Jun 2011 09:24:11

Yeah DK, Shame on your ass !

Talking about the FWOTUS like that,

BillyBlackhawk · Post by **BillyBlackhawk** » Tue, 14 Jun 2011 10:51:24

To Zephyp,

I thought it was obvious, but here goes. I have not seen a Nat Geo for some years but I remember them from my youth. Among teenage boys, Nat Geo was famous for being a source of photos of naked or near naked aborigional/tribal women. The joke implys that the First Lady of this great nation is no more than a primitive half naked hut dweller. No matter what your politics( I lean toward the Libertarian side ), you have to admit that the First Lady is a well educated, sophisticated individual. If she was white, this "joke" would not even exist. Do you need any further explanation?

Billy Blackhawk

wylde007 · Post by **wylde007** » Tue, 14 Jun 2011 11:04:21

you have to admit that the First Lady is a well educated, sophisticated individual.

No.

VBshooter · Post by **VBshooter** » Tue, 14 Jun 2011 11:18:06

Now that's funny right there

TheGodfather · Post by **TheGodfather** » Tue, 14 Jun 2011 11:23:56

BillyBlackhawk wrote:you have to admit that the First Lady is a well educated, sophisticated individual.

Best joke of the month by far!

BillyBlackhawk · Post by **BillyBlackhawk** » Tue, 14 Jun 2011 13:57:34

You know at my advanced age you would think I would be used to the biases anf prejudices of the abysmally ignorant common man. Instead I find that life is just too short to be casting pearls before swine. I keep forgetting that in any sufficiently large group there is going to be a number of charter members of the Brotherhood of The Sphincter. This group is no exception. I have only been a member of this group for a few days but that has been enough to show me that I have made a serious error in judgement. Sharing a love for firearms and the shooting sports does not in any way guarantee any other compatability. Nontheless, I wish you all well.

Momma only raise one dummy and we already buried him!! I am outta here!!

Pumbaa · Post by **Pumbaa** » Tue, 14 Jun 2011 14:28:22

So you let a couple of " Brotherhood of The Sphincter " stand in the way of sharing a love for firearms and the shooting sports.

I guess you were looking for an excuse to be offended. Sorry you choose to react this way.

We have a large group here... yes, there will be the "Brotherhood of The Sphincter" who might offend you. But you choose to run and give them victory...

You post 3 welcome posts, and then get offended at a 2 year old post that everybody forgot about.. hmmmm...

For evil to triumph.....

wylde007 · Post by **wylde007** » Tue, 14 Jun 2011 14:33:52

Pumbaa wrote:I guess you were looking for an excuse to be offended.

His first "act" as a member of the forum was to take exception to something someone said two years ago in jest... sort of.

In a thread specifically designated for humor. I read nothing where it professes to be politically-correct. In fact, I prefer it that way.

Don't go away mad. Just go away.

Heaven help him if he was in law enforcement or worked for the TSA/DHS.

VBshooter · Post by **VBshooter** » Tue, 14 Jun 2011 15:27:29

And as far as that sphincter remark... Takes one to know one Billie boy.. don;t let the door hit ya on your way out.

TheGodfather · Post by **TheGodfather** » Tue, 14 Jun 2011 15:30:09

BillyBlackhawk wrote:You know at my advanced age you would think I would be used to the biases anf prejudices of the abysmally ignorant common man. Instead I find that life is just too short to be casting pearls before swine.

Your farts smell that good huh?

Reverenddel · Post by **Reverenddel** » Tue, 14 Jun 2011 15:32:25

Yeah, he was a "Troll" looking for trouble.

Seen people like him in other forums, just WANTING someone to say something to offend them. Spoilin' for a fight, expectin' someone to kiss his keister with an apology. I heard enough "redneck-Hillbilly" jokes that I have a thick skin.

(shrugs) You know what? I'm a Jew by ethnicity. So HITLER, and his "merry band" gave my people a THICKER skin. We're the "cockroaches" of the species ya'll! Many tried, all failed!

Here's my favorites about my people:
Why did my people wander the desert for 40 years?
Someone dropped a quarter.

How did copper wire get invented?
To of my people found the same penny.

Why are our noses so big?
Air's free.

Offended? Suck it up! Rabbi Cohen, and I had a good roll in temple over those years ago!

Virginia Gun Owners Forum - VGOF

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