25 THINGS YANKEES SHOULD KNOW WHEN MOVING TO THE SOUTH

[Mindflayer]

http://theblazingcenter.com/2015/05/25- ... south.html

I grew up in Minnesota. I lived in Illinois for twelve years. And in late 2013 I moved to Nashville, TN. It’s different here than up north. Here are 25 things I learned and felt I must share with anyone else making the same migration.

1) It’s not a check out line; it’s a meet ‘n greet with cashiers.

2) “Bless your heart” is either the nicest mean thing or the meanest nice thing a person can say. Either way it sounds nice.

3) If someone asks you about your kids they’re not creepy; they’re nice. Except the guy in the Dickies overalls with a mullet. He’s creepy.

4) If someone is staring at you it’s not a threat or a challenge; they’re just waiting for you to say “hi.”

5) The favorite veggies are mac ‘n cheese, sweet potatoes, sweet potato fries, and mashed potatoes (or “smashed” potatoes as some insist on calling them).

6) Honking your car horn is akin to calling someone’s mother an evil name.

7) Waving absolves all driving errors or grievances. Except if they’re with the Dickies/mullet guy.

Ever heard of Sunday drivers? In the South, every day is Sunday.

9) The four horsemen of the apocalypse are rain, snow, sleet, and clouds.

10) If you’ve ever heard rumors of “the people of Walmart” those aren’t just rumors; they’re real. And they’re spectacular.

11) Churches are to the South as Starbucks are to Manhattan; there’s one on every corner, people have unofficially reserved seats, employees are mostly friendly even if they get your name wrong sometimes, attendees aren’t so much, the music is mediocre, and the coffee is terrible.

12) If you believe animals go to heaven you’ll love the South. They send chickens to “heaven” by the truckload. Usually fried and spicy.

13) Anything is edible if you fry it.

14) They sell cowboy boots at Target.

15) The “dynasty” in Duck Dynasty is not just for alliteration. Those crazy rednecks rule the southland.

16) All the country songs about pick ups, Cadillacs, and Buicks were inspired by my morning commute.

17) Passive aggressiveness is an art form and the South is a collective Picasso.

18) Wives don’t need to be jealous when waitresses call diners “sugar” or “hon.” Husbands had better be jealous if waiters do the same.

19) Jesus is Sunday’s religion and the SEC is Saturday’s.

20) That man with a gun isn’t a cop and he isn’t a criminal. He’s a ‘Murican citizen.

21) Even the people who live on the Florida/Georgia Line hate Florida Georgia Line.

22) The Civil War never happened. But The War of Northern Aggression did.

23) And it’s not over. The South will rise again.

24) What’s the hurry?

25) The BBQ wars (Carolina vs. Kansas City vs. Texas; Vinegar based sauce vs. Tomato based sauce) make the Chicago vs. New York pizza wars look like a playground slap fight.

[thekinetic]

OMG I was in a gander mountain and saw that overall/mullet guy, he was 400lbs of scary!

[ShotgunBlast]

[SHMIV]

Oh, the Dickies/mullet guy ain't bad. That guy can probably rebuild the engine in your '73 Chevy pickup with vice grips, WD40, and a pocket knife. It'll run better than brand new, too. Just make sure he's got a good drunk on before he starts.

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[smltooner]

I, absolutely, agree with #25 about the BBQ wars.
I like all of the BBQ, except for the South Carolina mustard sauce. I just can't get used to that.

[Ironbear]

Ever heard of Sunday drivers? In the South, every day is Sunday.

The author claims to be from Nashville... but if he's ever driven around Nashville, he ought to know that Nashville isn't anything like "Sunday" driving! Unless he's talking about NASCAR?

18) Wives don’t need to be jealous when waitresses call diners “sugar” or “hon.” Husbands had better be jealous if waiters do the same.

This was a big surprise to me when I moved to Virginia... getting called "sugar", "hon", "honey", and "sweety" by total strangers!

Doesn't seem as prevalent among the younger generations though...

[thekinetic]

Ugh, number eighteen. I know I don't want to be "that guy" but it is a pet peeve of mine to be called "sugar" and "hon" and especially "buddy". It just irritates me for some reason to be called names like that. I think I might have told one "it's Jon actually", and the look on their face was like "really you're going to be that guy ".

[MarcSpaz]

Ugh, number eighteen. I know I don't want to be "that guy" but it is a pet peeve of mine to be called "sugar" and "hon" and especially "buddy". It just irritates me for some reason to be called names like that. I think I might have told one "it's Jon actually", and the look on their face was like "really you're going to be that guy ".

Alright buddy.... just calm down.

[Oakes]

I'm from NY and NYC is not how the rest of the state is. 45 min outside of NYC, "no traffic driving" or fantasy land , and everyone has a gun. There are good ol boys in NY too. A good portion of NY is lakes and farmland.
Flipping the bird to someone is a greeting. We can drive 80mph and a foot away from a car in front of us and not get in an accident. The W's give us away in pronunciation.
The F word is as common as the word "the", pronounced tha or da. Things move fast so we only look uncaring.
Ok, we really are uncaring. We really don't care unless you talk about our mothers. That's war!
If you lived within that 45 min from NYC or in NYC you knew someone who was in the mob or knew someone that knew someone in the Mafia.
We have the best bagels and pizza in the country and have delis where you can get a sandwich your way!!
Just sayin.

[MarcSpaz]

My grandparents had a farm in NY. It was a beautiful place. But I preferred the food and clubs of the city. I was a child of the 70's and as soon as I could get in places like The Tunnel and Palladium... I was all in LoL

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[tangodown]

I'm from NY and NYC is not how the rest of the state is. 45 min outside of NYC, "no traffic driving" or fantasy land , and everyone has a gun. There are good ol boys in NY too. A good portion of NY is lakes and farmland.
Flipping the bird to someone is a greeting. We can drive 80mph and a foot away from a car in front of us and not get in an accident. The W's give us away in pronunciation.
The F word is as common as the word "the", pronounced tha or da. Things move fast so we only look uncaring.
Ok, we really are uncaring. We really don't care unless you talk about our mothers. That's war!
If you lived within that 45 min from NYC or in NYC you knew someone who was in the mob or knew someone that knew someone in the Mafia.
We have the best bagels and pizza in the country and have delis where you can get a sandwich your way!!
Just sayin.

I gotta say thats pretty much how most NYers feel about NYC. If we could send Cuomo and his gun grabbing liberty hating friends there and then fence it off so they couldn't bother the rest of the state we would.

[Reverenddel]

You know the funniest thing? As I have written before. Three types of folks that move to the South:

1.) "Come-heres". We love them, they want the Southern culture, history, food, etc, they embrace their new homes, and we welcome them like long lost brothers.

2.) "Transplants". They ruin things because they're only here temporarily. Either for work, school, or a spouses family, they vote the same way they did back home, messing things up but royally. They don't like us, and cannot wait to get back home.

3.) "Carpetbaggers". The worst of the bunch. They complain about how we eat, talk, think, pray, etc. They want to change OUR culture to fit THEIR mentality. They moved here permanently because they screwed up their own Homes, and want us to become "Like them"

Finding out that doesn't have to be "Up North", or "Out West", I've got "Carpetbaggers" from East India who I wish to hell would move the frak back to India... Quickly.

[Ironbear]

1.) "Come-heres". We love them, they want the Southern culture, history, food, etc, they embrace their new homes, and we welcome them like long lost brothers.

I just can't come to terms with biscuits and gravy, or okra.... where does that leave me....

[Reverenddel]

1.) "Come-heres". We love them, they want the Southern culture, history, food, etc, they embrace their new homes, and we welcome them like long lost brothers.

I just can't come to terms with biscuits and gravy, or okra.... where does that leave me....

Do you like Biscuits SEPARATE from gravy? We might give you a pass. As to Okra? Yeah, I like it, but not everyone Southern can deal...

Now you reject the love that is Pork BBQ? Gotta move. Just sayin.

[SHMIV]

I'm about as Southern as it gets. I hate okra. Also, I dislike fried chicken. BBQ, on the other hand, I love.

One thing I really enjoy, is making Yankees try grits, lol. When my mother was waiting tables, she asked a Yankee if he wanted to try some grits. He was confused. She offered an explanation. He said, "Well, let me try one".

Had it been me, I would have brought him one grit.

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[Swampman]

My Cousin Vinnie! Freakin' hysterical! "Grits? What's a grit?"

I don't miss my former life in New Jersey. Chicken fried steak, mashed taters with flour gravy and green beans is one of my favorite meals. Oh, and don't forget the sweet tea. Biscuits and gravy is rib-stickin' good (with bacon, of course)!

The deer are bigger down here. Takes fewer to fill the freezer. And there is plenty of New York style pizza here that's almost as good as Vesuvio's back home.

Yeah, I came here. It's my home and I ain't leavin'.

[dorminWS]

1.) "Come-heres". We love them, they want the Southern culture, history, food, etc, they embrace their new homes, and we welcome them like long lost brothers.

I just can't come to terms with biscuits and gravy, or okra.... where does that leave me....

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Sadly deprived, and with my deepest sympathy.

[Reverenddel]

1.) "Come-heres". We love them, they want the Southern culture, history, food, etc, they embrace their new homes, and we welcome them like long lost brothers.

I just can't come to terms with biscuits and gravy, or okra.... where does that leave me....

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Sadly deprived, and with my deepest sympathy.

Well there ya' go! HAHAHAHA

[SHMIV]

TBH says that if you don't like okra, or biscuits and gravy, you've still got cornbread and sweet tea.

When I spent some time living up north, outside of friends and family, I do believe that sweet tea was the thing that I missed most. Super sweet, diabetic shock inducing, iced tea. Oh, yeah.

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[Ironbear]

I just can't come to terms with biscuits and gravy, or okra.... where does that leave me....

Sadly deprived, and with my deepest sympathy.

Speaking of southern food....

Today's home-school activities, at the Bear household, commenced with the delivery of one possum carcass, via "vulture air", into the back yard followed by front row seats to breakfast and bickering!

Just what was needed to start a Monday morning! The 7-yr old, was glued to the binoculars....