A bit of humor to lighten up the load this weekend.

[mmckee1952]

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces think’s I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards.
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Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
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For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every ten seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
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Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' Were bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some ***hole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.....
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An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.
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If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
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Boot camp would be easier for old guys.... We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
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They could lighten up on the obstacle course however..... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push-ups after completing basic training.
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Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too..... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
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An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave or to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
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These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
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Let us old guys track down those terrorists..... The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million hacked off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.
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HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50.... in menopause! You think MEN have attitudes? Ohhhhhhhh my goodness!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!
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Send this to all of your senior friends in big type so they can read it.

[MarcSpaz]

I love it!

[SHMIV]

Lol, I see the logic here.

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[smltooner]

I fit everyone of those except the screaming and yelling.

[Snakester]

Women over 50......I'm don't know if I would wish that even on terrorist !

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[thekinetic]

You ain't kidding, especially if yall old guys are like my dad. I've seen him shoot a nail in his arm and he pulled it out like it was nothing and put paper towels and duct tape on it instead of a bandage. I swear he could cut his own head off and reattach it with a staple gun!

I'd join if they would put me in charge of interrogation. I'm creepy, I mean Kane from poltergeist 2 creepy, I often look down or wear sunglasses because I've looked people in the eyes and seen their blood freeze in their veins. Like they're being looked at by death himself. Combine that with the fact I often talk aloud to myself I think they'd give up any information without me laying a hand on them!

[wittmeba]

There is certainly many things to be said for experience only gained by aging.

[Reverenddel]

You know another advantage over youth? We aren't in such an all fire hurry.

If it takes two months to whip someone's ass? No worries!

Kinetic:
That reminds me of my current ax wound. I went camping a few weeks back, and pulled the pack, as I did, my axe fell forward/backward, causing the sheath to catch, and the blade to hit twice on my left forearm.

The boy-child went! "OMG! Yer bleeding!"

Looked down, not a big deal... went into the kitchen, poured Dawn dishwashing liquid to clean it out, and add antimicrobial... washed it, put a heavy flow maxi-pad, and duct tape.

The Boychild looked at me, and said "I stand no chance against you. Not when you can take two ax blows to the arm, and not even freak out."

[OakRidgeStars]

Note to self: Add maxi pads and duct tape to first aid kit.

[Reverenddel]

Works...

[thekinetic]

Holy crap reverenddel, antibacterial dish soap and a maxi pad. Makes sense, ones for killing germs and the other's for bleeding!

[SHMIV]

Back when I worked at the plastic factory, I used to keep electrical tape, a roll of toilet paper, and a couple of bottles of rubbing alcohol on my tool cart. Working with grease coated metal with sharp edges, cuts and gashes were inevitable.

Apparently, some people are intimidated by guys who can pour straight alcohol over an open wound with a straight face.

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[thekinetic]

Back when I worked at the plastic factory, I used to keep electrical tape, a roll of toilet paper, and a couple of bottles of rubbing alcohol on my tool cart. Working with grease coated metal with sharp edges, cuts and gashes were inevitable.

Apparently, some people are intimidated by guys who can pour straight alcohol over an open wound with a straight face.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

They are because most grow up not as ruff and tumble. I grew up with methialade (sp?) which was more or less iodine, I swear they put stuff in it just to make it burn. Of course since then I've hurt, cut, burnt, and broken myself so many times I think I'm starting to enjoy it, I know that because I used to cry and now I just laugh. Yeah laughing while you're injured, ever seen that look on someone's face like they're saying "what is wrong with you?", because that's the look other have.

[Reverenddel]

Yep!

this "Helicoptered" generation ain't gonna survive anything severe.

Sh't, as soon as their batteries run out on their devices? They're gonna sh'tthemselves.

[dusterdude]

Remember mercurychrome sp?

[dorminWS]

Remember mercurychrome sp?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I do most certainly remember mercurochrome. Merthiolate, too. Don't know if it did any good, buy you knew you'd been medicated; because it stung like a b!tch.

I understand mercurochrome is no longer sold in the US. because of its mercury content. It's a wonder that I didn't die of mercury poisoning.

[AlanM]

Whatever happened to Mercurochrome and Merthiolate?

Actually inhibited healing.

[thekinetic]

I liked mercurochrome, it didn't sting at all and seemed to work like charm. Yet now they sell "newskin" more like plastic model glue, stuff burns like fire.

[rlbellco72]

So, where do I sign up!

[KaosDad]

Put me in, coach!