Possible Stolen Valor - Taking Advantage of My Daughter

[MarcSpaz]

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I need some help from my military friends. Especially Navy guys.

My daughter is dating someone that I know with certainty is a habitual liar. He has her convinced that she needs to move in with him. I did a little digging I found out the guy is separated, but still married, when I came across an alternate Facebook page.

This guy said he is in the Navy and is a sonar tech on a sub. He also told me that when they are in port, he does "Shore Patrol" duty. He said he was a sniper.

This kid is telling me that he goes out to sea for a couple weeks here and there. A month at the most. But for the last few months he has been "going out to sea" for 4 to 10 days at a time, then in port for 3 to 5 days doing shore patrol, then back to sea doing "mine sweeping exercises" off the cost of Florida.

My cousin was married to a submariner and he was at sea for 3 years (out for months at a time with short breaks), then did 3 years of shore duty. I took the guy to the range and he doesn't know diddly squat about weapons. He couldn't hit a stationary 3'x5' target at 10 yards with a SIG P226, which is Navy issue under another model designation. Now, I may not have served, but I do know that Port Security Units operate under the Navy Expeditionary Combat Command, not Advanced Electronics Field. I am really confident that they don't move an STS to PSU when in port. And the last I heard anyone using sea mines was in the Persian Gulf back in 1991.

So, am I reading too far into this because I am trying to protect my daughter... or is this guy completely full of crap?
Any Navy guys willing to come to the house and hangout next time he's in town? He is supposed to be staying hear for close to a week as we get closer to Turkey Day.

If I knew some basic PII, I could simply login and confirm his duty status, but I can't get it... for obvious reasons.

Any advice on how I can confirm with certainty so I can prove to my kid that this guy is no good?

[OakRidgeStars]

This guy sounds like a real tool. I can't help with the Navy stuff, but I do have this handy device you are welcome to borrow...

[Viper21]

I'd simply ask him his MOS (Military Occupational Specialty). I'd ask what ship he was last on too..... Those are things you can look up & find out whether he's full of it or not. Sure sounds like he is. I wasn't Navy, I was Army, & have boys in the Marine Corps. However, I was under the impression that when a sub went out.. it was for 6 months.

[dusterdude]

Its been a long time marc,but i still remember some marine corps/navy vernacular

[trailrunner]

I was not in the navy, but my dad was. Sounds like the kid's story has some holes in it. The comings-and-goings don't necessarily sound odd, though. When my dad would get ready to deploy, he would go out to sea on shorter work-up cruises that could last a couple of days to a couple of weeks. But this kid could be using to account for time away spent with another GF. However, the sniper-to-submariner career path sounds a bit fishy. And even if there were mines off the coast of FL (which sounds HIGHLY improbable nowadays), we wouldn't send a sub to take care of them.

Viper21 is on to something, but the navy doesn't use MOS. They use rates to describe their specialty. My dad was a GM (gunners mate), then a GMT (gunners mate technician). Other examples are bosuns mate, medic, and so on. Asking this question is one of the first things people do when they meet someone in the military, and it's a common way to sniff out posers. Actually, you could use Viper21's approach -- ask him what his MOS is. If he's legitimate, he'll instantly correct you to say that the navy uses rates and then say what his rate is; if not, he'll make something up.

[trailrunner]

One more thing - the shore patrol duty he is talking about is not port security. My dad, who was not an MP, used to have to pull SP duty sometimes when the ship was in port. Their job was to pick up sailors from the local drunk take, or sailors that had been arrested for fighting or not paying their bar tabs. Basically, it was babysitting a bunch of energetic sailors with cash in their pockets who had been cooped up on a ship for a month. My father-in-law, who was in the Army, had to do that also once in a while as part of his junior officer duties (although they didn't call it shore patrol).

Don't know if they still do that or not, though. This was back in the 50s and 60s.

[Swampman]

Marc,

All the information I relay here is readily available on the internet, so I presume it isn't classified. It's what I remember from my time, 34 years ago. However, in the interest of CYA, just in case I'm wrong about the classification, I've sent the remainder of this message via PM.

[Snakester]

I really don't know of any information I could add here that would help. I have mentioned on the forum before that I think it's a great idea to have a hole already dug just in case you have to bury something very quick! I just happen to have such a hole .......Just Saying!

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[thekinetic]

IMOP he's so full of it I can smell it from here! It's sounds like he's a player with multiple partners, why else would he have such a weird schedule if not to "spend time" with them with out risking losing them. I've seen marksman of that sniper league and they are insanely good. At 50 yards with his side arm they guy didn't miss, he tore out the center and reloaded fluidly.

Now if it were me, I would tail him on his "outings to sea" and see where he goes, just remember the gray man techniques and don't be seen. But I think you already know where he will go.

[MarcSpaz]

I appreciate all the feedback guys. Lots of good information and I think Jay's meter will come in handy. I am going to bring this stuff up to him in casual convo next time he's around and see where it goes.

You know... my daughter has had a string of complete dirt bags that she has been bringing home for years. Some of you are aware that I was not always the fine, outstanding citizen that I am today, so far be it for me to judge. In fact, one guy she dated was a drunk, a drug dealer and is a 2 time convicted armed bank robber.

Compared to the current Navy kid (if he is in the Navy) I had some respect for that guy because he owned it, said he was stuck in a cycle he wanted out of, and showed potential to want to improve. He didn't lie about his life and pretend he was something he wasn't.

Eventually he had to go because I work for federal law enforcement and I can't be associated with someone who is on parole if they are not a family member and he really wasn't doing anything to improve his life. Plus he totaled one of my cars while he was high and my daughter let him drive it. I told her he had to go or she did. She made the right choice then.

So you can see my dilemma... As a young adult, she has a history of really bad choices. I have no respect for people who lie and no respect for people who lie about either being in the Service or are in the service and lie about their role.

We'll see how this visit goes. Hopefully I can open her eye to the BS.

[SHMIV]

I seem to recall you bringing up the drunken bank robber, before.

Shame you don't live closer to the Hampton Roads area; I'd send my sisters in to be good influences.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[MarcSpaz]

I think we can use a good influence around here. She really needs a good female role model that is not family.

[Nevermore1]

Certainly sounds like he is still married and probably not seperated or has a gew other girlfriends on the side. I would start by checking to see if he's ever been convicted of anything on the State Courts site (you may need to search multiple counties). Not sure how old your daughter is but one day she will bring a good guy. I have 3 girls, my oldest will be 18 in January and thankfully hasn't gotten into the "dating" stage yet and my 2 youngest still have a ways to go before they reach that stage. My husband is definitely not looking forward to them bringing boys home!

Sent from my SM-N915T using Tapatalk

[Swampman]

My oldest brought her first boy home when she was 15 (she's 25 now), and he was 16. He wasn't a bad kid, but I wanted him gone. Got to talk to him alone one day, and described my big 4x4, the digging implements I have available, and my ability to hide something in a deep hole far back in the woods. He watched me very closely during that whole conversation. He left later that day never to return. Mission accomplished.

[Monkey]

Marc,

Sorry I didn't see this sooner.

I have almost 20 years active duty service, leading Sailors. I speak fluent SWO and conversational Submariner. I will use some Navy-Approved terminology to describe this guy:

This guy is so full of shite* that his eyes are gonna turn brown.

Your daughter should not cohabitate, much less associate, with anybody that can't tell the truth about what they do. She needs to NOT WALK, RUN as fast as she can from this guy.

Based on the way you described the situation, she probably won't.

Hoping for the best.

(* Filter changed my original classification - sorry if I'm breaking forum rules).

[OleMan]

Marc, very sorry to hear that your daughter has attracted such a cruddy jerk. I wonder if you might have a built in resource at work - not to do direct work in your behalf - I imagine they and you might be sanctioned for it, rather to suggest a friendly retired or ex-LEO who could to the gritty leg work for you - all in a legal manner, of course!

Many years ago I had similar problems with both of my girls, and my youngest sister did also. Discreet help from LEOs and public officials either solved the issue or significantly improved things that led to an ultimate solution, i.e. the trouble maker got out of their lives.

Good luck & best regards.

[MarcSpaz]

Thanks guys. I appreciate the feedback. I have a lot to think about.