Square Testicles

[dorminWS]

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An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.
The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'.
The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money . The elderly woman replied that she made bets.
The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?'
The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.'
The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.
The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?'
'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.'
'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 ' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently.
That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.
The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square.
The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.
The president was happy to oblige.
The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked
the president if she could touch them. 'Of course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.'
The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Royal Bank of Ireland.'

[wittmeba]

Similar...

A man went into a bar sat down and ordered a drink.

He said to the bartender, "Ill bet you this drink that I have your name written on the back of my shirt".

Having never seen the man before the bartender accepted the bet. The man stood up and removed his jacket and on the rear top of his shirt it read "Your Name". The bartender laughed, gave him his drink and went about his business.

A short time later the man ordered another drink.

He said to the bartender, "Ill bet you this drink I can bite my right eye".

Bartender laughed and accepted the bet. The man reached up, removed his glass eye, put it between his teeth and bit it. Bartender gave the man his drink, laughed an went about his business.

A little later the man ordered another drink.

He said to the bartender, "Ill bet you this drink I can bite my left eye".

Bartender a little concerned, but laughed and accepted the bet. The man reached up, pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye. Bartender, getting a little angry now, gave the man his drink and went about his business.

A while later the man ordered another drink.

He said to the bartender, "Ill bet you this drink, if you slide a mug down your bar, I can pee in it and fill it before it reaches the end of the bar". The bartender, being the big strapping man he is, accepted the bet.

The man jumps up onto the bar. The bartender whirls the beer mug down the bar. The man races to catch the mug, missing the mug completely, falling off the end of the bar onto the floor.

The bartender runs over laughing and boasting about his victory stating, "I got you this time!".

The man says "Yep, you sure did. See that man over there in the corner? I just bet him $500.00 I could pee all over your bar and you would be excited about it".

[Jeff82]

Oldies but goodies!

[Reverenddel]

Didn't they do a version of this joke in "Desperado" with Quentin Tarrantino delivering the line?

[SHMIV]

I think so.... that sounds vaguely familiar. Beena while since I've seen tthat movie, though.

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