Monday Morning Humor

[Taggure]

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the
summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the
winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of
beer and the invention of the wheel.

Beer required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither
the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our
early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they
just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

The wheel was invented to get man to the beer.

These two were the foundation of modern civilization and together were
the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct
subgroups: 1. Liberals. 2. Conservatives.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night
while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known
as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were less skilled at hunting learned to live off the
conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the
sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men evolved into women. Others became known as
girlie-men. Some noteworthy Liberal achievements include the
domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and
the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and
beer that Conservatives provided.

Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,
most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are
symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.

Modern Liberals like lite beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard Liberal
fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: many Liberal women
have higher testosterone levels than their men.

Most college professors, social workers, personal injury attorneys,
journalists, film makers in Hollywood , group therapists and community
organizers are Liberals. Liberals meddled in our national pastime and
invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the
pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for
their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the
military, airline pilots, and generally anyone who works productively.
Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to
work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers
and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans
are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the Liberals
remained in Europe when Conservatives were coming to America . They
crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of
trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a
Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this post.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute
truth of this history that it will be shared immediately to other true
believers and to just piss off more liberals...

And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self.
I'm going to have another very rare steak.

[Viper21]

[OakRidgeStars]

Then how do you explain where Libertarians came from?

[Radiac]

LOL Thanks for the enlightenment. I will definitely share.

[Swampman]

[Taggure]

Then how do you explain where Libertarians came from?

From that somewhere in the middle place were evryone gets along they don't bother me and I don't bother them.

[jmax]

I think if we look to our past we were the dumping grounds for Europe of undesirables who overcame numerous obstacles to expand and survive in this new land. But what stayed behind were the serfs and those with a serf mentality breeding a attitude where the the weaalthy land owners would direct and control their lives. We have seen the rise of socialism/communism where the state has replaced the wealthy land owner and has been replaced by the state. Interestingly enough the same characters are still in charge. Unfortunately we have a growing serf class in this country.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[Bags30]

Many of the serf class immigrated after it was safely tamed and they could live off others. And they're still coming.

[Swampman]

And still living off others.