Lord, how I wish this was funny instread of true.

[dorminWS]

It's an old gag, but it gets truer and truer each year.
................................................................

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel,
“Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land.”

75 years ago, (when welfare was introduced) FDR said, “Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel; this IS the Promised Land.”

Today, Congress has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels so you can’t afford to smoke’em, and mortgaged the Promised Land!

I was so depressed last night thinking about Obamacare, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings evaporated in the market and taxed away, Social Security, retirement funds, etc. that I called a suicide hotline.

I had to press 1 for English.

I was then connected to a call center in Pakistan

When I told them I was suicidal they got very excited and asked me if I could drive a truck.

Folks, we’re screwed.

[Taggure]

That was funny Very Ironic but funny non the less

[SHMIV]

...raised the price of Camels so you can’t afford to smoke’em...

That's probably the saddest part for me. Until a couple years ago, I smoked Camel, exclusively. Now, I must smoke Pall Mall; it's the only cigarette worth smoking that doesn't require selling off my first born to get a pack. That is, I smoke Pall Mall when I'm in one of the rare places in which I can still light up. (read: in my house or car; every place else has caved to the whiners)

[OakRidgeStars]

I was then connected to a call center in Pakistan

When I told them I was suicidal they got very excited and asked me if I could drive a truck.

Folks, we’re screwed.

Did they ask if you had seen any good movies lately?

[VACoastie]

I used to smoke, when it was Economical... Then I found myself paying 5.50 for a pack that wouldn't last as long as 2 days and I was done. Now my vice goes to Sailor Jerry and Coca Cola haha.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[RickH]

Ain't nothin wrong with a little Sailor.
5.50 ain't nothin to me. I'm used to Latin upwards of 10.00 a pack back in NY and 12.00 in Hawaii. Thank God for the exchange on base. 3.50 a pack for camels. Mmmmmmm, I think I'll smoke one right now.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[RickH]

"Paying", not Latin. Damn auto correct.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[AlanM]

As of when I started typing this (17:35) it has been 19 years, 9 months, 26 days, and 10 hours since I lit my last cigarette on 11/30/92 at 0735).
When I started smoking in the Navy I could buy sea ration cigarettes (outside the 12 mile limit, no taxes) for $1.15 a CARTON for filtered brands. A dollar 5 for non-filtered brands.

My Dad quit smoking cigars when the price of a box of 50 Roytans went up from $3 to $3.50 at the Air Force BX. (about 1958 or 9)

I can remember seeing a cigarette machine that sold them for 10 cents a pack and inside the cellophane of a pack of camels was a penny change.

Anybody remember when airline stewardesses would have FREE packs (with 2 cigarettes) to give to the passengers?

I'm obviously dating myself. That can be taken two ways.
1. I'm older than dirt.
2. I'm very lonely but sanitary (not likely to get a disease).
In my case both apply.

[Snakester]

The last pack of cigarettes that I bought cost $.34 ...I haven't smoked in quite a while. With the way laws and people are today it is probably a good idea that I don't smoke and carry a gun at the same time !

[dorminWS]

I don't smoke. Never did. Not anything; not even that "wacky terbakky" a lot of folks mess with. I will on rare occasions puff on (but not inhale) a GOOD cigar behind a nice meal and some high-priced scotch or brandy. But I do frequently chew tobacco. Only when I'm driving (I seem to get about 180 miles to the bag on the interstate, I reckon), hunting, fishing, golfing, or working in the woodshop. I may or may not be addicted; but I am certainly habituated. I can take off on a 10-day trip that involves flying and never miss chewing or even think about it as long as I don't drive, hunt, fish, golf, or work in a woodshop. But when my butt hits the car seat to drive home from the airport, I grab the 'bakker before I get the door shut. Habit.

When I started buying the stuff, it seems to me like it was something like 23 cents for a bag of Beech-Nut. Now I buy it by the case of 12 bags. At 23 cents per bag, a case would have been $2.76 back then. I never bought any cigarettes, but I think they were sold back then through vending machines for 25 cents per pack. When I was diagnosed with GERD, they told me to quit, so I changed from chewing Mammoth Cave Twist to Red Man Golden Blend in the bag; which is to say I just DAMN NEAR quit. I bought a case for the trip to Richmond I just returned from last night. $45.88 for twelve bags. $3.8233 per bag. And I'm pretty sure the bag, at 3 oz., is about an ounce shy of what it used to be. When it passes $50 a box I think I'll quit and maybe just go to chewin' on an unlit cigar like a buddy of mine does.

What's the world coming to when a feller can't cherish a nasty disgusting habit or two in peace? When them damn liberals were nattering on about raising the minimum wage, I had NO IDEA they were also talking about the WAGES OF SIN, too!

[mikegray0422]

I smoked for 27 years till I had a heart attack a couple of months after my 40th birthday. I figured if I was going to put my life in danger by inhaling smoke I might as well do it the right way. Now I spend my money on ammo at the public range.

DAD!!! Tell Tommy it's MY turn to shoot the gun now.....GIMMEEEE!!!
(In truth, I've met a lot of good folks there, gained a lot of knowledge from the old hands and swapped a few shots with more than a few but that isn't funny.)

MIke Gray