Almost lost a Boy-child...
Posted: Wed, 30 Nov 2016 00:13:47
I don't think the kids are gonna make it. Especially if they keep doing stupid sheet like they did tonight.
I get home from mom's, and I gotta go.
Stop. D'hell is the backyard light on? Go around back. FIRST DOOR, WIDE SLAM OPEN! Test it's screen door, locked. It's never locked. Go to the second back door. Push it open. Not only NOT locked, but NOT SHUT!
(sigh) Oh Hellllll no. Come in quietly. Stop. Listen. No lights, no sound. Dammit all. Now I gotta "Cut the effin pie" before I pee. Son of a beach.
Go get the XD .45 ACP tactical, slide the light onto the rail. Clear one room, second room, quiet up the stairs against the wall. Clear dining room, clear living room, slide up the other stairs, clearing the bathroom from floor level, open one wubbie bedroom, clear. Open another, sleeping wubbie.
Huh?
Open the other, Boy-Child. Sitting at his computer... in the dark... with headphones... Moron. I just slid UPSTAIRS, and you know what got his attention? The flashlight on the end of the gun, because it illuminated the room when it was on the floor.
"Oh, hey" (does not look away from PC).
Me to him "um, you wanna tell me what the every loving hell went on? I got lights on outside that ain't supposed to be one, both back doors open...."
(still playing computer) "Uh... mighta been me."
(shakes head) Let's not even talk about "Environmental Observation", or "Perimeter Security", or even basic "Theft Deterrent".
Just basic... observational... skills. "Someone in the house besides me. I should check this out. Just to be safe."
NOPE! Lemme NOT look up from my game, and become a victim because I didn't notice the big scary dude with a FREAKIN' FIREARM! (rolls eyes)
Jesus Wept. Mose Crept. Sheet. And then I went to pee.
I get home from mom's, and I gotta go.
Stop. D'hell is the backyard light on? Go around back. FIRST DOOR, WIDE SLAM OPEN! Test it's screen door, locked. It's never locked. Go to the second back door. Push it open. Not only NOT locked, but NOT SHUT!
(sigh) Oh Hellllll no. Come in quietly. Stop. Listen. No lights, no sound. Dammit all. Now I gotta "Cut the effin pie" before I pee. Son of a beach.
Go get the XD .45 ACP tactical, slide the light onto the rail. Clear one room, second room, quiet up the stairs against the wall. Clear dining room, clear living room, slide up the other stairs, clearing the bathroom from floor level, open one wubbie bedroom, clear. Open another, sleeping wubbie.
Huh?
Open the other, Boy-Child. Sitting at his computer... in the dark... with headphones... Moron. I just slid UPSTAIRS, and you know what got his attention? The flashlight on the end of the gun, because it illuminated the room when it was on the floor.
"Oh, hey" (does not look away from PC).
Me to him "um, you wanna tell me what the every loving hell went on? I got lights on outside that ain't supposed to be one, both back doors open...."
(still playing computer) "Uh... mighta been me."
(shakes head) Let's not even talk about "Environmental Observation", or "Perimeter Security", or even basic "Theft Deterrent".
Just basic... observational... skills. "Someone in the house besides me. I should check this out. Just to be safe."
NOPE! Lemme NOT look up from my game, and become a victim because I didn't notice the big scary dude with a FREAKIN' FIREARM! (rolls eyes)
Jesus Wept. Mose Crept. Sheet. And then I went to pee.
