Stuff to think about . . .

[Swampman]

Advice from An Old Farmer

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled.
Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight.
Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.
Don’t judge folks by their relatives.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life… Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
Don ‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.
Most times, it just gets down to common sense.

[thekinetic]

Words to live by, but you forgot don't spit into the wind.

[Ironbear]

There is no problem so bad, that your mouth can't make it worse.

[Mindflayer]

Cry once or cry many times. Don't cheap out on the important stuff.
The time you save with the easy way is often owed many times over in the long run.
Milk a bull, make a friend for life.

[thekinetic]

Milk a bull, make a friend for life.

No, just no!

[Snakester]

I can relate to quite a few....Especially the one about the Bee and the John Deere !

[AlanM]

We used to have a little experiment we would have sailors do in the Navy if they acted like they were indispensable to the operation of the ship.
We'd have them go get a bucket of water, sit down with the bucket between their feet, and put their hand in the water up past their wrist.
They'd then ask, "Now what?"
Answer: "Pull your hand out and leave a hole."

You know, no matter how fast the pulled their hand out they NEVER left a hole.
Usually after a couple of tries they would get the message.

[AlanM]

Some truisms passed on to me in an email from a relative.

If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
Jay Leno~

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
Henry Cate,

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office
Aesop

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.
Will Rogers~

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
Nikita Khrushchev~

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
Clarence Darrow~

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.
John Quinton~

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.
Author unknown~

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
Oscar Ameringer~

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.
Adlai Stevenson, 1952~

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
Tex Guinan~

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
Charles de Gaulle~

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
Doug Larson~

There ought to be one day -- just one -- when there is open season on Congressmen.
Will Rogers~

[Ironbear]

In other random humor to think about...

My newly reading son discovered Garfield, at the librarym but my wife decided that Garfield was too stupid (doh!) and banned us from bringing it home. So me being a conscientious father, tried to set him up with The Far Side.... only to discover that The Far Side...... is in the non-fiction section!!!!

Now Dilbert turned out to be in non-fiction too, but I already know that Dilbert isn't fiction.