Virginia Gun Owners Forum - VGOF

I grew up in Minnesota. I lived in Illinois for twelve years. And in late 2013 I moved to Nashville, TN. It’s different here than up north. Here are 25 things I learned and felt I must share with anyone else making the same migration.

1) It’s not a check out line; it’s a meet ‘n greet with cashiers.

2) “Bless your heart” is either the nicest mean thing or the meanest nice thing a person can say. Either way it sounds nice.

3) If someone asks you about your kids they’re not creepy; they’re nice. Except the guy in the Dickies overalls with a mullet. He’s creepy.

4) If someone is staring at you it’s not a threat or a challenge; they’re just waiting for you to say “hi.”

5) The favorite veggies are mac ‘n cheese, sweet potatoes, sweet potato fries, and mashed potatoes (or “smashed” potatoes as some insist on calling them).

6) Honking your car horn is akin to calling someone’s mother an evil name.

7) Waving absolves all driving errors or grievances. Except if they’re with the Dickies/mullet guy.

Ever heard of Sunday drivers? In the South, every day is Sunday.

9) The four horsemen of the apocalypse are rain, snow, sleet, and clouds.

10) If you’ve ever heard rumors of “the people of Walmart” those aren’t just rumors; they’re real. And they’re spectacular.

11) Churches are to the South as Starbucks are to Manhattan; there’s one on every corner, people have unofficially reserved seats, employees are mostly friendly even if they get your name wrong sometimes, attendees aren’t so much, the music is mediocre, and the coffee is terrible.

12) If you believe animals go to heaven you’ll love the South. They send chickens to “heaven” by the truckload. Usually fried and spicy.

13) Anything is edible if you fry it.

14) They sell cowboy boots at Target.

15) The “dynasty” in Duck Dynasty is not just for alliteration. Those crazy rednecks rule the southland.

16) All the country songs about pick ups, Cadillacs, and Buicks were inspired by my morning commute.

17) Passive aggressiveness is an art form and the South is a collective Picasso.

18) Wives don’t need to be jealous when waitresses call diners “sugar” or “hon.” Husbands had better be jealous if waiters do the same.

19) Jesus is Sunday’s religion and the SEC is Saturday’s.

20) That man with a gun isn’t a cop and he isn’t a criminal. He’s a ‘Murican citizen.

21) Even the people who live on the Florida/Georgia Line hate Florida Georgia Line.

22) The Civil War never happened. But The War of Northern Aggression did.

23) And it’s not over. The South will rise again.

24) What’s the hurry?

25) The BBQ wars (Carolina vs. Kansas City vs. Texas; Vinegar based sauce vs. Tomato based sauce) make the Chicago vs. New York pizza wars look like a playground slap fight.

Ever heard of Sunday drivers? In the South, every day is Sunday.

18) Wives don’t need to be jealous when waitresses call diners “sugar” or “hon.” Husbands had better be jealous if waiters do the same.

thekinetic wrote:Ugh, number eighteen. I know I don't want to be "that guy" but it is a pet peeve of mine to be called "sugar" and "hon" and especially "buddy". It just irritates me for some reason to be called names like that. I think I might have told one "it's Jon actually", and the look on their face was like "really you're going to be that guy ".

Oakes wrote:I'm from NY and NYC is not how the rest of the state is. 45 min outside of NYC, "no traffic driving" or fantasy land , and everyone has a gun. There are good ol boys in NY too. A good portion of NY is lakes and farmland.
Flipping the bird to someone is a greeting. We can drive 80mph and a foot away from a car in front of us and not get in an accident. The W's give us away in pronunciation.
The F word is as common as the word "the", pronounced tha or da. Things move fast so we only look uncaring.
Ok, we really are uncaring. We really don't care unless you talk about our mothers. That's war!
If you lived within that 45 min from NYC or in NYC you knew someone who was in the mob or knew someone that knew someone in the Mafia.
We have the best bagels and pizza in the country and have delis where you can get a sandwich your way!!
Just sayin.

Reverenddel wrote:1.) "Come-heres". We love them, they want the Southern culture, history, food, etc, they embrace their new homes, and we welcome them like long lost brothers.

Ironbear wrote:

Reverenddel wrote:1.) "Come-heres". We love them, they want the Southern culture, history, food, etc, they embrace their new homes, and we welcome them like long lost brothers.

I just can't come to terms with biscuits and gravy, or okra.... where does that leave me....

Ironbear wrote:

Reverenddel wrote:1.) "Come-heres". We love them, they want the Southern culture, history, food, etc, they embrace their new homes, and we welcome them like long lost brothers.

I just can't come to terms with biscuits and gravy, or okra.... where does that leave me....

dorminWS wrote:

Ironbear wrote:

Reverenddel wrote:1.) "Come-heres". We love them, they want the Southern culture, history, food, etc, they embrace their new homes, and we welcome them like long lost brothers.

I just can't come to terms with biscuits and gravy, or okra.... where does that leave me....

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Sadly deprived, and with my deepest sympathy.

dorminWS wrote:

Ironbear wrote:I just can't come to terms with biscuits and gravy, or okra.... where does that leave me....

Sadly deprived, and with my deepest sympathy.