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An Older Person's Perspective:

Posted: Mon, 06 Apr 2015 15:00:04
by dorminWS
I’m thinking about having #2 put on all my cars......


1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the
warning labels and let the problem work itself out.

2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds.
People move out of the way much faster now.

3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands.
If they are holding a gun, she's probably pissed.

4. Gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers.
Now they drink like their fathers.

5. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you've just
met? That's common sense leaving your body.

6. I don't like making plans for the day. Because then the word
"premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

7. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row.

8. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim.
I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

9. Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers.
If you find one, what 's your plan?

10. Everyone has a right to be stupid.
Politicians just abuse the privilege.

Re: An Older Person's Perspective:

Posted: Mon, 06 Apr 2015 15:04:34
by Reverenddel
On # 9? I have a weapon in my shower cap...

Confuses the helloutta whomever picks it up.

Re: An Older Person's Perspective:

Posted: Mon, 06 Apr 2015 15:09:08
by dorminWS
Reverenddel wrote:On # 9? I have a weapon in my shower cap...

Confuses the helloutta whomever picks it up.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

You wear a shower cap? THAT confuses the helloutta me............

Re: An Older Person's Perspective:

Posted: Mon, 06 Apr 2015 15:29:29
by WRW
For #10, see #1.

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Re: An Older Person's Perspective:

Posted: Mon, 06 Apr 2015 17:55:17
by Snakester
Today I power washed my Tractor , then greased all the fittings ! I've been around tractors and other equipment all my life , but for some reason today I must have read 2 dozen WARNING labels telling me do not put your hands here ! NOT a Step ! Listen for BUZZER ! After reading all those labels .....HELL , I was too scared to get back on the Tractor ! I guess John Deere is covering their own ASS or they sell to some Really Stupid People ! Then while I was putting the power washer away I started reading labels on it ...enough is enough . I went in the garage and fixed me a Drink ...and there is a Warning Label on Early Times... I agree with #1 !!!

Re: An Older Person's Perspective:

Posted: Mon, 06 Apr 2015 20:27:33
by Swampman
All you need to know to justify #1 is a cup of Mickey D's coffee in the lap. :doh:

Re: An Older Person's Perspective:

Posted: Mon, 06 Apr 2015 22:03:32
by Ironbear
Snakester wrote:I guess John Deere is covering their own ASS or they sell to some Really Stupid People !
If you decide to sell to dumb people, you expand your market considerably. Also, it is easier to get $$$ out of them!

Re: An Older Person's Perspective:

Posted: Mon, 06 Apr 2015 22:08:20
by VACoastie
Man... When I read dormins post saying "I'm thinking of having #2 put on all my cars" all I could think of was Poo, and I thought he had lost his marbles hahaha.

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Re: An Older Person's Perspective:

Posted: Tue, 07 Apr 2015 09:03:14
by dorminWS
Snakester wrote:Today I power washed my Tractor , then greased all the fittings ! I've been around tractors and other equipment all my life , but for some reason today I must have read 2 dozen WARNING labels telling me do not put your hands here ! NOT a Step ! Listen for BUZZER ! After reading all those labels .....HELL , I was too scared to get back on the Tractor ! I guess John Deere is covering their own ASS or they sell to some Really Stupid People ! Then while I was putting the power washer away I started reading labels on it ...enough is enough . I went in the garage and fixed me a Drink ...and there is a Warning Label on Early Times... I agree with #1 !!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Yup, and the thing that strikes me most here is that you haven't even really seen all those warnings in the past because they are now so ubiquitous that they just become part of the background noise that you tune out. Such a ludicrous level of superfluous caution is counterproductive. The only people who don't understand this are our government and the plaintiff's bar and American juries who continue to reward stupidity and recklessness by awarding ridiculous sums on suits for failure to warn.

Re: An Older Person's Perspective:

Posted: Tue, 07 Apr 2015 09:50:35
by dorminWS
VACoastie wrote:Man... all I could think of was Poo, ...................
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

You a new daddy or something, Coastie?

Re: An Older Person's Perspective:

Posted: Tue, 07 Apr 2015 14:10:12
by Oakes
Here's another.
Some people are like slinkies. They aren't really good for anything but they sure bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs!!!

Re: An Older Person's Perspective:

Posted: Tue, 07 Apr 2015 14:55:31
by VACoastie
I am funny enough Dormin lol. 4 month old cutie pie!

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Re: An Older Person's Perspective:

Posted: Tue, 07 Apr 2015 15:07:07
by dorminWS
VACoastie wrote:I am funny enough Dormin lol. 4 month old cutie pie!

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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
'Bout what I figured. If that don't give you poop on the brain, it can't be done.

Re: An Older Person's Perspective:

Posted: Tue, 07 Apr 2015 19:07:13
by thekinetic
dorminWS wrote:
Reverenddel wrote:On # 9? I have a weapon in my shower cap...

Confuses the helloutta whomever picks it up.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

You wear a shower cap? THAT confuses the helloutta me............
Well when you're naked you don't have many options, i'll leave the other option to your imagination! :whistle:

Re: An Older Person's Perspective:

Posted: Thu, 09 Apr 2015 14:01:48
by Reverenddel
I didn't say I WORE IT... I said I keep a PISTOL IN IT!!!

Pay Attention! You're losing focus in your elder years Dorm!

Re: An Older Person's Perspective:

Posted: Thu, 09 Apr 2015 14:09:45
by dorminWS
Reverenddel wrote:I didn't say I WORE IT... I said I keep a PISTOL IN IT!!!

Pay Attention! You're losing focus in your elder years Dorm!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Don't you try to pull that old age crap on ME, boy.

You ain't done noways near enough 'splainin' yet, Rev.............

....So now tell us, if you don't WEAR it, where DO you keep it while you're lathering up with both hands? HMMMMM?

Re: An Older Person's Perspective:

Posted: Thu, 09 Apr 2015 15:50:15
by SHMIV
Lol... this convo is getting a little TOO personal.

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Re: An Older Person's Perspective:

Posted: Thu, 09 Apr 2015 19:15:33
by OakRidgeStars
I'm gonna have to lock this thread before someone drops the soap. :shock:

Re: An Older Person's Perspective:

Posted: Thu, 09 Apr 2015 19:59:58
by thekinetic
OakRidgeStars wrote:I'm gonna have to lock this thread before someone drops the soap. :shock:
*does Takei voice* Oh my! :hysterical:

Re: An Older Person's Perspective:

Posted: Fri, 10 Apr 2015 06:49:41
by AlanM
Seriously, from threads on other forums about wanting to have a handgun dry but usable in wet conditions, the best bet is to put the gun in a large zip lock bag.
The gun will stay dry and can be used while in the bag in an emergency.
FYI - this came up when discussing canoeing trips down rivers in Ohio.