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How to save the airlines and stimulate travel:

Posted: Tue, 28 Jan 2014 16:56:03
by dorminWS
Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place....

Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- they don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere'
going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.'

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.

This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right – a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Bush or Obama think of this?

Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely,

Rob Ford
Toronto Mayor

Re: How to save the airlines and stimulate travel:

Posted: Tue, 28 Jan 2014 18:04:06
by ShotgunBlast
That was funny, especially the payoff at the end. :hysterical:

Airlines are a great example of how protectionism doesn't work. US airlines are excluded from top-10 lists year after year because there are so many better foreign competitors. What's frustrating is that US travelers don't have access to them within the US.

For example, international airline Cathay Pacific offers NYC to Hong Kong flights. They are legally allowed to pick up travelers in NYC, fly to LAX or San Fran to pick up more travelers, and continue onto Hong Kong. But God forbid if any of those NYC passengers want to get off at LAX or San Fran, then it's illegal. You would think this would be a great bipartisan issue since Republicans are supposed to be about free markets and Democrats shouldn't want half empty planes burning jet fuel across the US. :dunno:

Re: How to save the airlines and stimulate travel:

Posted: Tue, 28 Jan 2014 18:54:27
by Swampman
Where can I vote for Rob Ford? :clap: :hysterical:

Re: How to save the airlines and stimulate travel:

Posted: Tue, 28 Jan 2014 19:24:26
by OakRidgeStars
Swampman wrote:Where can I vote for Rob Ford? :clap: :hysterical:
Canada

Re: How to save the airlines and stimulate travel:

Posted: Wed, 29 Jan 2014 22:02:03
by AtomicPunk
Hooters did have an airline but it only lasted a few years.

Re: How to save the airlines and stimulate travel:

Posted: Thu, 30 Jan 2014 23:32:42
by OakRidgeStars
AtomicPunk wrote:Hooters did have an airline but it only lasted a few years.
Genius.

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