Virginia Gun Owners Forum - VGOF

Please. God. No.

http://www.latimes.com/business/money/l ... 1787.story

DANGIT!!!! I just logged on to post that story!

Stock up while you can.

I've heard that people taste like pork. I wonder if it's possible to make people-bacon.

This is obviously a Muslim plot to change weather patterns to drive up temperatures and cause drought conditions to lower our consumption of pork products. Praise Allah!

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AppleaDay wrote:
I've heard that people taste like pork. I wonder if it's possible to make people-bacon.

It is my understanding that the word, used by African cannibal tribes, to describe human meat translates directly to "long pig".

All that Mayan calendar business is bogus.

Look...the guy who had the stone-calendar-carving gig had to retire or drop dead,(maybe both), at SOME point, right?

I guess that he reckoned that being 1500 years ahead of schedule was good enough for "gubmint work".

It's OUR problem that some fool went and dug the thing up and learned how to decode Late Mayanese.

Bilgeman wrote:All that Mayan calendar business is bogus.

Look...the guy who had the stone-calendar-carving gig had to retire or drop dead,(maybe both), at SOME point, right?

I guess that he reckoned that being 1500 years ahead of schedule was good enough for "gubmint work".

It's OUR problem that some fool went and dug the thing up and learned how to decode Late Mayanese.

Personally, I like to think that the Mayans could see into the future, and left the calender that way on purpose, knowing full well that the panicky modern people of today's age would find it and completely flip their lids. Mayan humor. I choose to believe this for no logical purpose. I base this belief solely on the merit of making me laugh.

Didn't I read somewhere that it was the Spanish Conquistadores that brought swine to the New World? I think I did. If that's so, the Mayans didn't have any bacon; or at least they didn't have any bacon made from pigs.

That's almost too painful to contemplate. No damn wonder they thought the world would end. They must have been so miserable they were HOPING it would. Or maybe they had bacon made from nutria or capybara. Now THAT's an appetizing idea: Rat bacon.

Turkey bacon is an abomination to Gawd. It's Satanic.

PORK! Mmmmm, once that genie is outta the bottle, it never goes back in.

I remember when I was exploring my natural mom's faith, and talking to Rabbi Cohen. I asked him, "You ever try a bacon cheeseburger? That's...that's heaven man... am I going to Jewish hell for a bacon cheeseburger?"

His response, "If we believed in hell, after our conversations, you'd be going for more than a bacon cheeseburger."

Looks like wild pig and hog hunting might go up, a good thing in the south.

SHMIV wrote:It is my understanding that the word, used by African cannibal tribes, to describe human meat translates directly to "long pig".

Can't recall where I read it, but a theory as to why pork isn't kosher is partly due to the health risks of eating it in a warm clime, but also due to the similarity between pork and human flesh being uncomfortably close to cannibalism.

I...like bacon I must admit. It was an acquired taste. I like the low sodium stuff, you can taste it better without all the salt.

Kreutz wrote:
Can't recall where I read it, but a theory as to why pork isn't kosher is partly due to the health risks of eating it in a warm clime, but also due to the similarity between pork and human flesh being uncomfortably close to cannibalism.

I'd be inclined to agree with that assessment. The fact that parts of pig hearts get successfully grafted to human hearts supports that theory. Also, the ridiculously high level of intelligence found in the average pig lends further credence.

Which, of course, is just one more reason that I can't believe that my ancient ancestors were apes, lol.

I think it goes along the lines that a pig only has one stomach and split hooves. It supposedly makes it unclean and since our bodies are temples and it's a sin to dirty up our temple, pork is off limits.

I'm not Jewish or anything, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

BAM!

scrubber3 wrote:I think it goes along the lines that a pig only has one stomach and split hooves. It supposedly makes it unclean and since our bodies are temples and it's a sin to dirty up our temple, pork is off limits.

I'm not Jewish or anything, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

BAM!

I'm a mere mischling, so while I'm sure theres some 5,000,000 page rabbinical ruling on it somewhere, I've read (and am inclined to agree with the idea) that the original reasons for those dietary restrictions were likely very practical.

The things banned (pork, shellfish, etc.) are not things you want to eat when the average daily temp could top 90 and the fridge is 2,200 years away.


Holiday Inn, incidentally, very practical.