A minority's thoughts on "racism"

[TacticalMom]

I believe everyone has a right to defend themselves.

If you are threatened then you have the right to defend yourself as necessary to your health and well being.

I am sure everyone has had a brush with racism. Some more severe than others, but every color, every culture has some one who hates them. So some moronic primate will take it out on that person.

I learned first hand at circa 6 or 7 years old just how bad it can be. I was coming home black eyes from the snow/ice balls being hurled at me after school. I was being chased down and white washed in the snow. (if you don't know what that means, they take your head and smash it in the snow and move it back and forth, cuts you up something fierce.) Why cause I was the only Asian in my class on base in AK. I was told not to fight back. So I took it and ran home scared, and crying. (that has changed =) )

I guess my point is, racism is horrible in any form. Be it small or large. It is everywhere and can happen to anyone.

I hope the hatred for Zimmerman dies down and he can go on living his life. However, I am a glass is half full kinda girl and don't see people putting away their personal predjudices to see clearly.
Some one defending themselves does not make them racist.

[Rich]

I learned first hand at circa 6 or 7 years old just how bad it can be. I was coming home black eyes from the snow/ice balls being hurled at me after school. I was being chased down and white washed in the snow. (if you don't know what that means, they take your head and smash it in the snow and move it back and forth, cuts you up something fierce.) Why cause I was the only Asian in my class on base in AK. I was told not to fight back. So I took it and ran home scared, and crying. (that has changed =) )

I guess my point is, racism is horrible in any form. Be it small or large. It is everywhere and can happen to anyone.

That is a really sad story. I dont know what I would have done if that were my little girl. I hate bullies more than anything. I found out as a teenager that the way to deal with bullies is the threat, with the intention of backing it up, of extreme and over the top violence. Lets just say that once the bullies believed I was both crazy and dangerous I never had any more problems.

[Swampman]

Part of the problem with retaliation (fighting back), as it pertains to TM's situation, is losing sight of everything except the immediacy of the situation, and failing to realize that it is temporary. Unless deadly force is part of it, retaliation usually will not do anything but escalate the violence. I would refer to my argument regarding "taking away the audience."

TM put up with a lot when she was younger, and her parents taught her that retaliation should be avoided. She didn't know it at the time, but that probably saved her added anguish over what she suffered anyway. She is a better person for the trials she went through and probably has a clearer view of right versus wrong, and when is the appropriate time to retaliate.

Check out an old song called "The Winner", by either Bobby Bare or Kris Kristoferson.

[TacticalMom]

In the end I went to my teacher several times and asked/pleaded them to help me. The teacher basically told me to deal with it on my own, and they would not step in because they did not like tattlers. (note: they saw nothing wrong with what the kids were doing.) My mother wrote the teacher, still no intervention. So she then wrote the school board, who intervened and suspended the teacher, and made the teacher give me a formal written apology. If I remember correctly the teacher returned only for a short time then, the teacher eventually moved away, and I have no idea where he went. The bullies were suspended and their parents were finally told about their behavior.

I would never wish this experience on anyone. I did not retaliate for fear of getting into trouble from my parents, also did not want to hurt anyone. I was sad because I did not understand (I thought I was like everyone else), scared of getting hurt, did not want to go to school due to the bullies, but I can't say I was afraid for my life. I don't think I was. I was not afraid I would die as child knows death. "That I would go away from my family for ever, and never see them again." I just thought I would get hurt more, and I did not want that.

I am fiercely protective of my kids. I will watch and let them interact but I have no problems stepping in and telling any child that they are playing with to back off or behave using that "mom voice". It tends to do the trick. Once I have their attention I tell them that what they are doing to my child is not appropriate nicely. If they continue to do what ever I deem not ok. I will remove my kids form said situation, and explain to them that they do not need to act like that. Mama does not appreciate behavior like that. I use it as a learning experience. I also think that by parenting the way I do, I am maybe able to show another kid how I expect them to behave. I hope in the process that even if they don't get that direction at home they might see how I deal with my kids. =)

I guess I could be called out for parenting other peoples kids. However, I don't say anything to anyone's kids that are not interacting with mine. For instance if I see a kid misbehaving I don't go up and chide them. Unless a kids is interacting with mine and he or she is being mean/to rough/bullying etc. I don't react.

[Mindflayer]

Thanks for the comments, guys. I had reached a point of frustration where I needed to say something. There's a fallacy that white guilt is not racist, that lowered expectations based on color of skin is not racist, that minorities are not racist. It is 2013 - we have global media in TV and the Internet. Why is race still an issue, when it's pretty damned clear to anyone with modicum of intellect that it is culture that is the problem?

Tanya, nothing wrong with stepping in when you feel another child is interacting improperly with yours. Frankly, I wish more parents would do that.

Rich, yes, I found the same. I never initiated anything and tried to defuse the situation with humor or walking away. Sometimes, people just would not want to leave it alone. It is sad that some people hate themselves so much they need to act this way.

[dorminWS]

We are all most comfortable with what and who we know. We are all at least somewhat less so with who and what we don't, and sometimes we even fear that at least a little bit. That is human nature; and it applies to much more than race. All these people that cry wolf on race and attribute this natural hesitation about the unfamiliar (and every random bad break and random unfortuitous outcome) to racial bias these days just piss of people of good conscience and good intentions and incite those who are prone to incitement. Like the rest of y'all, I'm sick and damned tired of it.

I can't personally claim any specific non-Caucasian ancestry. I’ve carped on this forum a few times about the use of the term “Hillbilly” as a pejorative, however; and so I’m not totally unfamiliar with the phenomenon of being part of a group subjected to ridicule and assumptions that they are inferior. I know it sucks. I'm Scots-Irish, English, French and German all the way back to at least the first third of the 17th century; and my surname is pure Anglo-Saxon. However, at least one great grandmother had a "Melungeon" surname. The story of the "Melungeons" implies some Native American and in all likelihood African genes, as well as perhaps some near-eastern ones. But nobody really knows. And it doesn't really matter. My wife is 1/4 Cherokee Indian. Reckon those Cherokees must have been mean as striped snakes, judging by how she gets when I screw up. Been trying to get her to go down to the Casino at Cherokee, NC and put in for her share of the proceeds. She just grins and says there are probably too many white men in the woodpile. Too bad we can’t all maintain some balance and a healthy sense of humor about this stuff.

[dorminWS]

We are all most comfortable with what and who we know. We are all at least somewhat less so with who and what we don't, and sometimes we even fear that at least a little bit. That is human nature; and it applies to much more than race. All these people that cry wolf on race and attribute this natural hesitation about the unfamiliar (and every random bad break and random unfortuitous outcome) to racial bias these days just piss off people of good conscience and good intentions and incite those who are prone to incitement. Like the rest of y'all, I'm sick and damned tired of it.

I can't personally claim any specific non-Caucasian ancestry. I’ve carped on this forum a few times about the use of the term “Hillbilly” as a pejorative, however; and so I’m not totally unfamiliar with the phenomenon of being part of a group subjected to ridicule and assumptions that they are inferior. I know it sucks. I'm Scots-Irish, English, French and German all the way back to at least the first third of the 17th century; and my surname is pure Anglo-Saxon. However, at least one great grandmother had a "Melungeon" surname. The story of the "Melungeons" implies some Native American and in all likelihood African genes, as well as perhaps some near-eastern ones. But nobody really knows. And it doesn't really matter. My wife is 1/4 Cherokee Indian. Reckon those Cherokees must have been mean as striped snakes, judging by how she gets when I screw up. Been trying to get her to go down to the Casino at Cherokee, NC and put in for her share of the proceeds. She just grins and says there are probably too many white men in the woodpile. Too bad we can’t all maintain some balance and a healthy sense of humor about this stuff.