A Place To Tell Jokes

[moss20]

Marriage Humor

Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband : 'I was looking for the expiration date.'
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Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband : 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife : 'Yes or no.'
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Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'
Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'
Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you!'
Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'
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Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
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Son: ' Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son: 'But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
_____________________________________________________________
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
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Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever .
The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'
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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor.'

[Riana]

Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband : 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife : 'Yes or no.'

You've been spying on me... I think I had that conversation with my husband last week.

[moss20]

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

Keep reading-they get better!!!

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WOMEN'S REVENGE

'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
And I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'

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UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
Pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
And still be afraid of a spider.

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MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Joe and his wife Ann listened to the instructor,
'It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes.'
He addressed the man,
'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?'
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

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CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife..
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
To get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
And some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own . So does she.

(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)

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WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
Neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
The husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

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WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men..
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'

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CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be
So stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !

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WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who
Should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,
And then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and
You should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says 'HEBREWS'

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The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home
And were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him
At 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

[moss20]

Tool Definitions:

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly-stained heirloom piece you were drying.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned guitar calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, "Yeouw ...."

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.

SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

WELDING GLOVES: Heavy duty leather gloves used to prolong the conduction of intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub you want the bearing race out of.

WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or ½ socket you've been searching for, over the last 45 minutes.

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG YELLOW PINE 4 X 4: Used for levering an automobile upward off of a trapped hydraulic jack handle.

TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters and wire wheel wires.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps neatly off in bolt holes thereby ending any possible future use.

RADIAL ARM SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to scare neophytes into choosing another line of work.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 24-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A very large pry bar that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite the handle.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

TROUBLE LIGHT: The home mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105 mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading. The accessory socket within the base, has been permanently rendered useless, unless requiring a source of 117 vac power to shock the mechanic senseless.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids, opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws.

AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts which were last over tightened 30 years ago by someone at Ford, and instantly rounds off their heads. Also used to quickly snap off lug nuts.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit. Women primarily use it to make gaping holes in walls when hanging pictures.

MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use. It is also useful for removing large chunks of human flesh from the user's hands.

DAMMIT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "DAMMIT" at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.

[zephyp]

Having had a large wood work shop most of those ring very true...

[wylde007]

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

We actually did this on purpose in Shop Class in junior high.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit. Women primarily use it to make gaping holes in walls when hanging pictures.

[moss20]

(Washington - 2013) The Obama administration's promises about the benefits of nationalizing the pizza industry have not materialized.
Since the industry was nationalized three years ago, Americans are facing pizza shortages, pizzas in only one size and topping, and pizzas that taste like the cardboard box they come in.

When announcing the pizza program in 2010, President Obama had promised that pizza prices would fall, pizza quality would rise, and there would be universal access to pizza. "After all," he had said in his typical all-knowing manner that Americans have come to hate, "the
pizza industry is much simpler than the medical industry, which we completely nationalized last year."

Before pizza was nationalized, virtually every American, whether rural or urban, rich or poor, white or black, or a race somewhere in between, could order a pizza customized to his liking and have it delivered hot to his door in about 45 mins. Now, in the rare cases where someone actually answers the phone at one of the government's regional pizza kitchens, it takes six hours on average for a pizza to be delivered.

The cost of the standard 12-inch pizza is $140, or a 20-fold increase in three years. Half of the increase is due to the skyrocketing inflation
caused by the president's stimulus spending in 2009. A dollar now buys only half as much as it did back then.

Moreover, pizzas are now being delivered by bicycle in rural areas and by mass transit in urban areas, due to the president's climate laws,
which have made gasoline unaffordable for the typical delivery person. Although delivery personnel in Minnesota replace the front tires of
their bikes with skis in winter and put snow chains on the rear tires, pizzas still arrive at customers' doors frozen solid. In the summer
in Arizona, pizzas leave the government pizza kitchen uncooked and cook along the way.

The Federal Department of Pizza is now bigger than the Department of Agriculture. Thousands of central planners have discovered that without the magic of market price signals, it's impossible to coordinate all of the variables involved in getting a pizza to someone's door.

Hundreds of Pizza Dept. employees try to determine months ahead who will order a pizza, at what time, on what day, and for what address. Hundreds of other employees then calculate how much flour, cheese, tomato sauce, and cardboard should be delivered to the regional pizza kitchens. Once this is determined, the information is sent with the Department of Labor, so that the kitchens have enough employees when they need them. Due to ongoing computer glitches, the pizza kitchens are fully staffed on Monday mornings but have a skeleton staff on Friday nights. During the last Super Bowl, the kitchens were shut down because no employees showed up for work.

The pizza forecasts are also sent to the Department of Agriculture, which has to tell farmers how much wheat and tomatoes to grow, cheese makers how much cheese to produce, and box makers how many boxes to make. The Department of Transportation also has to be notified to have 18-wheel trucks available to deliver the goods to the pizza kitchens. It's to no avail, however, because the Department of Energy is still trying to develop battery-powered trucks to replace the trucks that were banned by the EPA for having internal combustion engines.

Clandestine pizza operations have sprung up across the land, and anchovies are even being snuck into the country from Portugal in
travelers' suitcases. Customs personnel at New York's JFK Airport recently walked off the job after one Customs agent opened a suitcase
and cracked open his head on the counter when he passed out from the stench.

The Justice Department has started a War on Pizza to shut down the clandestine operations, but this has just shifted the problem to Mexico. The Mexican government is on the verge of collapsing, due to the violence and corruption of Mexican pizza lords who sneak contraband pizzas into the United States. Vinnie Rodriguez is said to be the kingpin of pizza in Mexico. Someone in Cleveland can order a pizza from Vinnie in Nuevo Laredo, Mexico, and have it delivered piping hot with the toppings of his choice in a tenth of the time it takes a government pizza kitchen to fill an order for a cardboard pizza.

President Obama's popularity has dropped to five percent, showing that Americans can tolerate having their medical care screwed up by the government but not their pizza.

[wylde007]

(Washington - 2013) The Obama administration's promises about the benefits of nationalizing the pizza industry have not materialized.

[snip]

President Obama's popularity has dropped to five percent, showing that Americans can tolerate having their medical care screwed up by the government but not their pizza.

Implying that the Kenyan impostor will actually win a second term... assuming this failed experiment survives that long?

[zephyp]

I'll follow Bill and post another couple of cowboy jokes. Oldies but goodies.
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An ole cowpoke stopped his horse in front of the saloon. He got off his horse, hitched it to the post and move to the rear of the animal. The cowboy stuck a finger in his mouth and got it nice and wet with spit. He then lifted the horse's tail and proceeded to rub his finger all around the horse's butt in and out until it was well coated with something else. Holding his finger up for a close inspection he appeared quite satisfied and proceeded to coat his lips with the brownish substance. A man watching from the saloon porch raised an eyebrow and asked the cowpoke as he walked by -

"Say, mister. Is that good for chapped lips?"

"Dunno," the cowpoke answered, "but it sure keeps me from lickin em."
-------------------------------
Two cowboys were drinking whiskey at a bar and engaged in deep conversation when a commotion broke out across the room. A woman appeared to be choking on a piece of steak.

One of the cowboys rushed over to the woman and gently helped her to her feet. He knelt behind her, lifted her dress, and pulled her panties down a little. He gave her butt a couple of licks. The woman convulsed and spat the piece of steak across the room.

The other cowboy watched from across the room and mentioned it to the other cowboy as he swaggered back to his spot at the bar.

"I heared about that there thing but aint ner saw it done."

"Yup," the other cowboy sagely whispered. "That hind lick manure works ever time."

[moss20]

Murphy's Lesser Known Laws

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

[moss20]

Do you take life too seriously? This is for you.

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set
2. A day without sunshine is, like, night
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
11. Remember half the people you know are below average.
12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
13. Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
14. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
18. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
19. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
20. I intend to live forever - so far so good.
21. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don’t expect it back.
22. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
23. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
24. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
25. Support bacteria - they’re the only culture some people have.
26. When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
27. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
28. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
29. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
30. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
31. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
32. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
33. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
34. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
35. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
36. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
37. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
38. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
39. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
40. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
41. Two wrongs are only the beginning.
42. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
43. The sooner you fall behind the more time you’ll have to catch up.
44. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
45. Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
46. Get a new car for your spouse - it’ll be a great trade!
47. Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
48. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
49. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
50. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand…
51. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
52. If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.

[moss20]

Doctors vs. Gun owners

(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.



( Accidental deaths caused by Physicians
per year are 120,000.


(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.

Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services.


Now think about this:

Guns

(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S.
is 80,000,000. (Yes, that's 80 million)


( The number of accidental gun deaths
per year, all age groups, is 1,500.


(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188.



Statistics courtesy of FBI


So, statistically, doctors are approximately
9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.



Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do..'




FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.




Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.


We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!

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Idea for a bumper sticker;

Your Doctor is FAR more likely to kill you than my gun!

[OakRidgeStars]

Doctors vs. Gun owners

Idea for a bumper sticker;

Your Doctor is FAR more likely to kill you than my gun!

"Your doctor has killed more people than my gun"

[noffy]

Very important information has just been made public that I think is something you should all be aware of:


Gonorrhea Lectim


The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this old disease. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim.

It's pronounced "Gonna re-elect 'im."


The disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior involving putting your cranium up your rectum.
Many victims contracted it in 2008 ..... but now most people, after having been infected for the past 1-2 years, are starting to realize how destructive this sickness is. It's sad because it is so easily cured with a new procedure just coming on the market called Votemout!
You take the first dose/step in 2010 and the second dosage in 2012 and simply don't engage in such behavior again, otherwise it could become permanent and eventually wipe out all life as we know it.




Several states are already on top of this like Virginia and New Jersey , and apparently now Massachusetts with many more seeing the writing on the wall.

[GS78]

.

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 06:56:42

[GS78]

from a Marine's wife:



I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and watched as the government under went a peaceful transition of power a year ago.
At first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotism while Barack Obama took his oath of office.




However, all that pride quickly vanished as I later watched 21 Marines, in full dress uniform with rifles, fire a 21-gun salute to the President.

It was then that I realized how far America's military had deteriorated.

Every one of them missed the bastard

[noffy]

.

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 06:56:42

OK.

[GS78]

The Four Cats!

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat,

"T-square, do your stuff."

T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better.

He called his cat and said,

"Spreadsheet, do your stuff."

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies ............Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said "Measure, do your stuff."

Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?"

The Government Employee called his cat and said....

"Coffee Break..... Do your stuff."

Coffee Break jumped to his feet...........



Ate the cookies...............



Drank the milk..............



POOPED on the paper....................


Screwed the other three cats......................



Claimed he injured his back while doing so..................



Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions........



Put in for Workers Compensation...............and



Went home for the rest of the day on sick leave

[moss20]

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?'

'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.'

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, 'It looks like you have seen a lot of action.'

'Yes, ma'am, a lot of action.'

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this yhe wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?'

'1955, ma'am.'

'Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955.'

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his serious voice, 'I hope not; it's only 2130 now.'

[moss20]

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war and doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet, wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages... only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.


THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iran, ruled by Nuts.