You MIGHT be a survivalists (NOT A PREPPER) if....

Discuss survival and preparedness strategies. What will you do when the zombies come to get us?

You MIGHT be a survivalists (NOT A PREPPER) if....

Postby Reverenddel » Wed, 24 Dec 2014 13:58:40

• You have emergency rations stored for your pets, and you view your pets as potential emergency rations.
• Bert from 'Tremors' is your favorite movie character.
• Your coffee table is actually a board with a table cloth over it, to disguise your food storage underneath.
• You've ever served MREs at a dinner party.
• You're planning to dig an emergency escape tunnel from your basement, to the nearest stand of trees.
• You've made bugout cargo packs for your dogs, and they also have their own gas masks.
• You know how to use a vacuum cleaner in reverse, to filter air in your designated bio-chem attack safe room.
• Your koi pond is stocked with tasty catfish.
• You view the nearest wildlife conservation area as a potential grocery store, for after SHTF.
• You know all the ways out the building where you work, and you have an escape kit stashed in your locker.
• You have enough ramen noodles stockpiled in your basement to feed your family for three years.
• You've made a range card for your neighborhood.
• Your ideal weekend consists of hauling a newly-completed cache container into the woods, and burying it.
• Your favorite 'self help' book is Nuclear War Survival Skills.
• When you go to McDonalds, you ask for one order of fries, with 25 packs of salt, ketchup, and mustard.
• You've numbered the deer romping in the yard by their order of consumption.
• You’re a single male, but you have an emergency childbirth kit, in case you have to deal with that possibility.
• You have 30,000 rounds of ammo stashed away, and you consider this to be inadequate.
• You own more than one grain mill, and you have a kerosene lamp in every room.
• You have two water heaters in your basement, but one is a dummy that's been converted to a hideaway safe.
• When you hear animal calls on nature shows, it sounds to you like they’re saying “Eat Me!”, “Eat Me!”.
• The box springs under your mattress are actually Rubber Maid storage containers, filled with rice and beans.
• Your basement walls are insulated with crates of toilet paper, from floor to ceiling, all the way around.
• Your group has detailed plans to take over a national forest, after the collapse of civilization.
• You have different grades of bug out bags, for different disaster scenarios.
• You bought your stockpile of grains (for human consumption) through your local animal feed store.
• You're still using up your Y2K supplies.
• While other people are saving for vacations, you are saving to get solar panels put on your house.
• You were excited beyond all reason when they came out with cheddar cheese in a can.
• You spend your spare time practicing making survival foods, like hardtack, jerky, pemmican, and fruit leather.
• You have better items in storage than the stuff you use everyday.
• You can't put groceries in the trunk of your car, because it’s already full of first aid kits and Bug Out Bags.
• You've ever considered buying an above-ground pool for water storage purposes.
• Your significant other gave you another sleeping bag for Christmas, and it was just what you wanted.
• You must open the door to your pantry very carefully, for fear of a canned goods avalanche.
• You own so much ammo that you had to cache it underground, simply due to lack of storage space.
• You own several hassock-style portable toilets, for use in case flooding disrupts your septic system.
• You own enough army surplus equipment to open your own surplus store.
• You keep your survival info on computer CDs and jump drives, but have hardcopy printouts, 'just in case'.
• You've mapped out the best places to block the roads leading to your area.
• You have a backup hand pump on your water well, and more 55gal blue water drums than family members.
• You carry a pocket survival kit, knife, flashlight, and concealed handgun on you to church every Sunday.
• You keep sneaking into the woods to plant bamboo and other useful and edible plants, in strategic locations.
• You own a hand-operated clothes washer and a non-electric carpet sweeper.
• You have two of every size of Dutch oven (the ones with the legs on the bottom), and 20 bags of charcoal.
• You've sewn secret mini-BOBs into the bottom of your children's school backpacks.
• You have rain barrels at each corner of your house, and a Big Berkey filter to purify the water.
• You start evaluating people according to 'skill sets'.
• You know where the best defensive positions and lines of fire are on your property.
• You have space set aside in the fallout shelter for your chickens, rabbits, and miniature goats.
• You have a 'Volcano' stove, you know how to cook anything, and you cast evil glances at your neighbor's annoying, yappy poodle, muttering "your day will come, hotdog" under your breath.
• You own tons of modern survival gear, but you know how to improvise crude replacements, just in case.
• You’re so busy making preparations, that you own guns you haven’t even had time to shoot yet


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Re: You MIGHT be a survivalists (NOT A PREPPER) if....

Postby AlanM » Wed, 24 Dec 2014 17:30:36

Just before the turn of the century my daughter's male friend was in line to check out at a supermarket here in Virginia behind a woman that had a cart filled with several hundred dollars worth of frozen meats.
All he had was an arm load of staples that he needed that week.
The woman turned to him, saw what little he was buying and asked, "Aren't you stocking up for Y2K?"
He responded with, "Nope, don't need to."
"Why?", she asked.
He responded with, "My neighbor is a farmer with a nice herd of cows. I have a rifle and a knife and I know how to dress out an animal. Cows on the hoof won't rot like that frozen meat will if the power goes out."
She just stared at him with a blank look.
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Re: You MIGHT be a survivalists (NOT A PREPPER) if....

Postby MarcSpaz » Wed, 24 Dec 2014 20:38:11

I easily relate to about 75%-80% of that list.


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Re: You MIGHT be a survivalists (NOT A PREPPER) if....

Postby AlanM » Fri, 26 Dec 2014 02:38:42

Re: The Y2K story that I related above:
The man that that happened to was at Christmas dinner with my daughter and I this Christmas. (yesterday afternoon)
I mentioned that I had posted the story here and my daughter said, "You left out what the woman said."
It turns out that the woman responded to our friend's statement that he would just shoot, butcher, and eat his neighbor's cows with, "You EAT cows!!?? I could NEVER eat a COW!!"
He says that he just looked at her shopping cart full of various beef products and shook his head.

He then went on to relate a story about a "city slicker" hearing that he and his dad (back when the family farm was in operation) were about to butcher some beef cattle, said "That great! Can I get some steaks and pork chops?"
AlanM
There are no dangerous weapons; there are only dangerous men. - RAH
Four boxes to be used in defense of liberty: soap, ballot, jury, ammo - use in that order.
If you aren't part of the solution, then you obviously weren't properly dissolved.


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Re: You MIGHT be a survivalists (NOT A PREPPER) if....

Postby MarcSpaz » Fri, 26 Dec 2014 14:49:16

I think most of the world is better off not knowing how there food becomes food. Too many people are soft ant would freak out in this day and age.

My wife hates the idea of hunting, even for food, but will eat meat damn near daily.


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Re: You MIGHT be a survivalists (NOT A PREPPER) if....

Postby WRW » Fri, 26 Dec 2014 15:09:54

MarcSpaz wrote:I think most of the world is better off not knowing how there food becomes food. Too many people are soft ant would freak out in this day and age.

My wife hates the idea of hunting, even for food, but will eat meat damn near daily.


Bah. I think they should be reminded where casings come from on a frequent basis.

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Re: You MIGHT be a survivalists (NOT A PREPPER) if....

Postby MarcSpaz » Fri, 26 Dec 2014 15:34:02

The colon is the only part I have trouble with. "Hey Honey, pass me the stuffed @$$hole, will you?" LOL

In store bought, I just pretend its all intestines.


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