Virginia Gun Owners Forum - VGOF

Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA)

Washington, DC - December 27, 2011 - The Obama Administration is urging
Congress to pass sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for
many Americans: The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) . President
Obama said he will sign it as soon as it hits his desk.
The AWNAA is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates
of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition. "Roughly 50
percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve
out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said California Senator Barbara
Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and
passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special
favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what
they are doing. We are legalizing another protected class of Americans."
In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D) and
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D) pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal
Service, which has a longstanding policy of providing opportunity without regard to
performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills,
making this agency the single largest U.S. Employer of Persons of Inability.
Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the
Inept include:
retail sales (72%)
the airline industry (68%)
and home improvement 'warehouse' stores (65%).
At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an
excellent record of hiring Persons of Inability (a whopping 83%).
Under The Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million 'middle man'
positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility,
thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance. Mandatory non-
performance-based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward
mobility for even the most inept employees. The legislation provides substantial tax
breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into
middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized
businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to
discriminate against the Non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview
questions such as, 'Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?'
'As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have
something going for them,' said Ken Cox, who lost his position as a lug-nut twister
at the GM plant in Flint, Michigan, due to his inability to remember 'righty tightey,
lefty loosey.' 'This new law should be real good for people like me,' Cox added.
With the passage of this bill, Cox and millions of other untalented citizens will
finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Said Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL): "As a Senator with no abilities, I believe the
same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American
with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American
citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in
this great nation and a good salary for doing so."